This is something that resonates with me daily and over the years I have oscillated between the two extremes.
As someone aged 5 I nearly died with polio (take note anti-vaxers) but survived with massive impairment- of course at that age you have no concept of death or the end you just grip onto life even if I later heard my mother had said - if he can’t walk I am not sure he if life would be worth living’
Of course that’s of it’s time in the early 1950s - much of my life has then been about fighting for ‘the best life’ and there is the rub, much of what I deal with physically day to day is something many would say ‘that’s too much’ and let go of the tiller and pull down the sails and let the harbour swallow them up !
But 70 years on I’ve lived my own life, with all the pain and joy and doubt and terror of death …. And as a psychologist of so many years now I see how death and fear of it haunts nearly all and probably lies behind many fears and decisions people make unconscious of the root deep maybe instinctual biological drive to survive at all cost and avoid that inevitable harbour.
Now I have prostate cancer and obviously that has been a challenge as I can now see the harbour entrance as clear as day (of course at 74 I should be seeing it anyway!) - so that struggle to accept the destination but navigate the path so that it is still the journey that counts and living well without just trying to live for its own sake.
I find it particularly reassuring to contemplate all those who have lived and ended up there ‘home’ in that harbour where all end up, whilst I will not BE - it’s a weird idea I think of it as not being alone - an illogical comfort maybe - but possibly that’s the human brain at work ?
(Excuse typos as always not ideal typing conditions these days)
This is something that resonates with me daily and over the years I have oscillated between the two extremes.
As someone aged 5 I nearly died with polio (take note anti-vaxers) but survived with massive impairment- of course at that age you have no concept of death or the end you just grip onto life even if I later heard my mother had said - if he can’t walk I am not sure he if life would be worth living’
Of course that’s of it’s time in the early 1950s - much of my life has then been about fighting for ‘the best life’ and there is the rub, much of what I deal with physically day to day is something many would say ‘that’s too much’ and let go of the tiller and pull down the sails and let the harbour swallow them up !
But 70 years on I’ve lived my own life, with all the pain and joy and doubt and terror of death …. And as a psychologist of so many years now I see how death and fear of it haunts nearly all and probably lies behind many fears and decisions people make unconscious of the root deep maybe instinctual biological drive to survive at all cost and avoid that inevitable harbour.
Now I have prostate cancer and obviously that has been a challenge as I can now see the harbour entrance as clear as day (of course at 74 I should be seeing it anyway!) - so that struggle to accept the destination but navigate the path so that it is still the journey that counts and living well without just trying to live for its own sake.
I find it particularly reassuring to contemplate all those who have lived and ended up there ‘home’ in that harbour where all end up, whilst I will not BE - it’s a weird idea I think of it as not being alone - an illogical comfort maybe - but possibly that’s the human brain at work ?
(Excuse typos as always not ideal typing conditions these days)
Greetings Simon, Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. If I can ever be of assistance, feel free to let me know.
Thank you for your generous offer - which I may at some point take you up on
Seneca--VERY relevant as we face our own Nero here in this time and place.