Dear Fellow Mortal,
We use the word “friend” easily.
Seneca thought we should use it more carefully.
His advice is not to become suspicious of everyone or to keep others at a safe distance. It is almost the opposite: choose your friends carefully, and then trust them deeply. Wisdom lies in knowing when caution is necessary—and when it is time to put caution aside.
I hope you enjoy this edition of Sundays with Seneca.
—
Remember to live.
J.W.
Sundays with Seneca
Sundays with Seneca is a series exploring the writings and Stoic philosophy of Lucius Annaeus Seneca. Each meditation offers a contemporary interpretation of one of Seneca’s letters, along with a Sunday practice. *** This series is exclusive to members.
Seneca on Choosing Your Friends
Letter 3—On True and False Friendship
You have sent a letter to me through a man whom you call your “friend” and then warn me not to discuss your affairs freely with him, because you yourself are not in the habit of doing so.
In the same letter, you have called him both a friend and not a friend.
If you are using the word “friend” casually, in the same way we call every candidate for office an “honorable gentleman” or greet someone whose name we have forgotten as “my dear friend,” then let it pass.
But if you consider someone a friend whom you do not trust as you trust yourself, you are mistaken.
You do not yet understand what true friendship means.
