Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

Much of what we’ve discussed throughout this series requires intentional action. One could argue that even stillness practices (meditation, prayer, contemplation, etc.) are deliberate and intentional actions.

Although our exploration of the art and science of living well revealed several principles and practices, it’s important to remember that these strategies only help us flourish when we consistently implement them. The art of living well requires us to discern what truly matters and work diligently to integrate those principles and practices into our daily lives.

Consider reflecting (or journaling) on these question(s):

• ‘What does a life of greater well-being look like for you?’

• ‘How can you start thinking about meaning and happiness, not as destinations but directions?’

Each of us must be intentional about our actions. As the ancient Greek playwright Sophocles remarked, ‘Kindness gives birth to kindness.’ We must recognize how our actions give birth to more of those actions.

In his Meditations on Lent, the theologian St. Thomas Aquinas described the idea this way,

Man believes that, once he has committed the sin, he will be able to keep from sin for the future. Experience shows that what really happens is quite otherwise. The effect of that first sin is to weaken the sinner and make him still more inclined to sin. Sin dominates man more and more, and the man left to himself, whatever his powers, places himself in such a state that he cannot rise from it.

Whether or not you believe in Aquinas’s take on sin. The point is that we are creatures of habit. The art of action is understanding that what we do often leads to more of the same.

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Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

Do you consider gratitude a virtue?

The Roman statesman Cicero did, he once called “gratitude not only the greatest of all virtues but the parent of all others.”

The wisdom (or practice) of being grateful appears across wisdom traditions. Becoming wiser may have more to do with being grateful for life (despite its challenges) than we realize. But philosophical and spiritual traditions often speak of gratitude in slightly different ways than we do in modern culture.

Take this insight from the Benedictine monk Brother David Steindl-Rast,

You think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day; it’s the one day. It’s the one day that is given to you today. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift you have right now — and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.

We generally agree that being grateful, as Steinl-Rast suggests, is an appropriate response. We know that modern researchers, philosophers, and theologians all point to the benefits and wisdom of gratitude.

Then, why is it so easy to take things for granted?

Why do we forget how truly fortunate we are to be alive?

Gratitude to Grateful

My interview with Kristi Nelson (author of Wakeup Grateful) revealed the difference between gratitude and being grateful. Nelson explained that ‘gratefulness’ is gratitude for life. ‘Gratefulness’ reminds us that we continually receive in simply being alive. While gratitude needs something good to happen, ‘gratefulness’ only requires us to be awake.

Similarly, the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche’s approach to life was called Amor Fati (or love of fate). Nietzsche described it this way,

My formula for greatness in a human being is Amor Fati: that one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backward, not in all eternity. Not merely bear what is necessary, still less conceal it… but love it.

Nietzsche’s approach didn’t attempt to erase the past but instead accepts what has occurred, the good and the bad, the mistaken and the wise, resulting in all-embracing gratitude.

It’s important to remember that gratitude is a wisdom practice (or perennial habit). And wisdom is not our default setting. Learning to be grateful is a habit that must be cultivated and nurtured again and again.

Epicurean Gratitude

The ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus had much to say about the practice of gratitude. Prof. Emily Austin (a previous podcast guest) writes in Living for Pleasure,

Epicurean gratitude is my favorite part of the philosophy. We clearly practice it somewhat naturally when we engage in reminiscence, but we can also develop deeper reservoirs of pleasant memories by making gratitude part of how we live. […]

Epicurus believed that despite suffering and challenges in life, we can simultaneously maintain what he called a “gladness of mind.” In his final days, he wrote to a friend,

On this blissful day, which is also the last of my life, I write this to you. My continual sufferings from strangury and dysentery are so great…; but over against them all I set gladness of mind at the remembrance of our past conversations.

The Epicurean view is that you already have everything you need if only you could see it. Consider contemplating this question: “Do I actually already have everything I need?”

Epicurus breaks what we need down into three categories:

1. What do we need? What is essential for our physical survival? Food, water, shelter from the elements; that’s about it. These are nature’s demands. Epicurus called the desire for these things “natural and necessary.”

2. But what if you want something beyond mere essentials? That’s all fine, Epicurus would say, and perfectly reasonable. The desire for these things grows out of our more basic natural desires for food, water, and shelter, even if it goes beyond what is essential. Epicurus called these sorts of things “natural, but not necessary.”

3. Then there’s everything else: everything we presumably think we need to live a happy life. For Epicurus, these things would fall into the third category of things, the “unnatural and unnecessary.”

It can be challenging to accept that the “natural and necessary” things are what we genuinely need. Everything else is mere window dressing.

Epicurus stressed that what we need is very little and, because of that, is relatively easy to secure. By realizing this point, we can practice gratitude for what we already have, not what we don’t. To quote Epicurus, “He who is not satisfied with a little is satisfied with nothing.”

Final Thoughts

What if you truly have everything you need — right in this moment? How might your life change if you were to adopt a consistent’ gratefulness’ practice?

The practice (or habit) of being grateful is universal wisdom. It’s an action, just like any other virtue. To quote the American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson,

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.

Grateful living is a way of life. It’s a practice, discipline, habit, and virtue. It’s a necessary ingredient for the art of living. It calls us to know what matters, what doesn’t, and what is truly enough.

As the Buddhist proverb says, “Enough is a feast.”

—

Thank you for reading, and Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate it!

Until next time, be wise and be well,

J.W.

P.S. To learn more, catch up on previous volumes below!

Happiness & the Meaning of Life — series:

• Being and Becoming (Read)

• Saying ‘Yes’ to Life (Read)

• How to Flourish Like Aristotle (Read)

• The Art (and Science) of Well-Being (Read)

• The Courage to Create (Read)

• A Buddhist Guide to Happiness (Read)

Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

One of the many paradoxes in life is that thinking (or the mind) can be a path to peace or suffering.

The Buddha taught, “Whatever one frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of the mind.” An untrained mind ultimately leads to suffering. The Buddha was far from the only person to discover this insight.

My conversation with longtime meditation teacher Shaila Catherine (author of Beyond Distraction) revealed that whether you are an experienced meditator or a beginner trying to develop mindfulness, you probably know the pain of wrestling with an unruly, distracted mind. Before you can experience the extraordinary joy of a settled and concentrated mind, you must learn how to dispel distractions.

Distraction is universal, explained Catherine, and even the Buddha tells us that before enlightenment, he sometimes found his mind preoccupied with thoughts connected with sensual desire, ill will, and harm.

Buddhist scripture advises that one develop a state of mind like the earth. People throw clean and unclean things on the earth, and the world is not troubled. When we develop the state of mind of friendliness, for as you do, ill-will will grow less; and of compassion, for thus vexation will grow less.

To a question about where to begin, Catherine responded,

The first major step forward in this process is to be mindful of a thought as a thought. And the thought is not a static thing. It’s a process, a dynamic process of thinking. It’s a mental activity. Instead of getting lost in the content or the story, we now become mindful of the activity that is occurring, thinking is happening. And this changes the entire framework of how we work with the mind.

If we’re looking at the story, stressed Catherine, there’s much we can learn and grow from by unpacking some of the assumptions and biases around the content and clarifying some things that are maybe memories that may or may not be accurate because they’re constantly changing over time.

Each time we think of something, it’s a whole new event. It’s a dynamic process. We first need to recognize the distinction between the content of our thoughts and our thinking process.

As the Buddha put it, our thoughts make our world. For this reason, Buddhist teachings (along with other wisdom traditions) stress the importance of seeing beyond (or through) words, labels, and judgments. One of the labels that can be problematic is how we see ourselves.

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Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

How do you define courage?

What does courage actually look like in your daily life?

The American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that we need courage for virtually everything we do. Emerson stressed,

Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.

If you set out to intentionally lead your life (or even begin to contemplate it), you will likely encounter what author Steven Pressfield calls resistance.

In his book The War of Art, Pressfield explains, “Resistance is experienced as fear; the degree of fear equates to the strength of resistance.” Therefore, the more fear we feel about a specific enterprise, the more certain we can be that that enterprise is important to us and our soul's growth. That’s why we feel so much Resistance. If it meant nothing to us, there’d be no resistance, according to Pressfield.

In his classic book, The Courage to Create, existential psychologist Rollo May described the inevitable need for courage:

This courage will not be the opposite of despair. We shall often be faced with despair, as indeed, every sensitive person has been in this country during the last several decades. Hence, Kierkegaard and Nietzsche and Camus and Sartre have proclaimed that courage is not the absence of despair; it is, rather, the capacity to move ahead in spite of despair.

Courage is not a virtue or value among other personal values like love or fidelity. It is the foundation that underlies and gives reality to all other virtues and personal values. Without courage, explains May, our love pales into mere dependency. Without courage, our fidelity becomes conformism.

Courage is necessary for human beings to make being and becoming possible. We are wise to remember that embarking on a path to becoming happier or creating meaning in daily life requires courage.

Final Thoughts

We are called to discern what truly matters. The Danish theologian and philosopher said, “The thing is to understand myself: the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die.” Kierkegaard called it the most important thing.

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Welcome to another edition of Happiness & the Meaning of Life. You can catch up on previous volumes here: Being and Becoming, Saying ‘Yes’ to Life, and How to Flourish—Like Aristotle.

As a reminder, we are starting a new book this week for Reading & the Good Life; if you’re available on a Friday (at Noon EST), feel free to join us!

Be wise and be well,

J.W.

Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

What should I do, how should I live, and whom should I become? Many of us ask such questions, and modern life being what it is, we don’t have to go far to find answers. Wisdom is now so cheap and abundant that it floods over us.

These are the opening lines of the book The Happiness Hypothesis by the writer and psychologist Jonathan Haidt. It is a book about ancient ideas and modern research on well-being.

According to Haidt (and several others), one of the essential ideas in positive psychology (a field we will discuss later) is the happiness formula (H=S+C+V). The level of happiness that you actually experience (H) is determined by your biological set point (S) plus the conditions of your life (C) plus voluntary activities (V). The field of positive psychology uses the scientific method to determine exactly what conditions and voluntary activities can bring your happiness up to the top of your potential range.

As it turns out, figures like the Buddha and Epictetus stressed the importance of focusing our efforts on what is up to us (voluntary activities) over two thousand years ago. The Buddha prescribed the ‘eightfold noble path’ (including meditation and mindfulness), and the Stoic philosopher Epictetus urged practices to cultivate indifference (apatheia) to externals.

Today’s meditation briefly introduces conditions and voluntary activities proven to increase well-being.

A Theory of Well-Being (PERMA)

When Dr. Martin Seligman was president of the American Psychological Association in 1998, one of his presidential initiatives was building a field called Positive Psychology. Traditionally, says Seligman, a significant focus of psychology has been to relieve human suffering. Since World War II, great strides have been made in the understanding and treatment of mental health disorders. Relieving suffering, however, is not the same as flourishing. The skills that build flourishing are different from the skills that alleviate suffering. Removing the disabling conditions is not the same as creating the enabling conditions that make life most worth living.

In his book Flourishing: A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-Being, Dr. Seligman’s theory of well-being outlines five building blocks that enable flourishing – Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment (hence PERMA). However, Seligman explains there are many different routes to a flourishing life. People will derive well-being from each of these five building blocks to varying degrees. A good life for one person is not necessarily a good life for another.

Positive Emotion

This route to well-being is hedonic–increasing positive emotion. Within limits, we can increase our positive emotions about the past (e.g., by cultivating gratitude and forgiveness), our positive emotions about the present (e.g., by savoring physical pleasures and mindfulness), and our positive emotions about the future (e.g., by building hope and optimism). Unlike other well-being practices, this route is limited by how much an individual can experience positive emotions. In other words, the experience of positive emotion is partly heritable, and each individual’s emotions tend to fluctuate within a range.

Engagement

Seligman writes that engagement is an experience in which someone fully deploys their skills, strengths, and attention for a challenging task. Likewise, according to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, this produces an experience called “flow” that is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward.

Relationships

Relationships are fundamental to well-being. The experiences that contribute to well-being are often amplified through our relationships. Connections to others can give life purpose and meaning. Seneca put it this way in a letter to Lucilius, “No one can live happily who has regard to himself alone and transforms everything into a question of his own utility; you must live for your neighbor if you would live for yourself.” Research backs up Seneca’s words of advice – doing acts of kindness for others increases well-being.

Meaning

A sense of meaning and purpose can be derived from belonging to and serving something bigger than yourself. Various societal institutions, such as family, religion, science, politics, work organizations, justice, the community, and social causes, enable a sense of meaning. Similarly, Haidt explains that happiness is not something that you can find, acquire, or achieve directly. You have to get the conditions right.

Just as plants need sun, water, and good soil to thrive, people need love, work, and a connection to something larger. It is worth striving to build the right relationships between yourself and others, between yourself and your work, and between yourself and something larger than yourself. If you do, a sense of purpose and meaning will emerge.

Accomplishment

People pursue achievement, competence, success, and mastery for their own sake in various domains, including the workplace, sports, games, and hobbies. People pursue accomplishment even when it does not necessarily lead to positive emotion, meaning, or relationships. Like each of the five building blocks, they are sought for their own sake, not as a means to an end.

Final Thoughts

What does a life of greater well-being look like for you?

How can you start thinking about meaning and happiness, not as destinations but as directions?

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Welcome to another edition of Happiness & the Meaning of Life. We discussed Being and Becoming and Saying ‘Yes’ to Life in previous volumes. As a reminder, you’ll find links to related podcasts and meditations at the end.

I hope you find something useful for daily life!

J.W.

Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

Today’s meditation turns to Aristotle for perennial lessons on habits and the highest good. In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle describes the goal of life,

Now, if our actions have a goal that we wish for because of itself and we wish for everything else because of it (rather than always choosing because of some further thing, an infinite regress that would make desire empty and futile), clearly this goal would be the good and the best. Knowing it would surely greatly impact our lives since we would be like archers with a target and more likely to hit the mark.

Like Seneca (and others), Aristotle believes knowing what we aim at is essential. Or, as he asked, ‘What is the highest good that we aim at in our actions?’

According to Aristotle, there is general agreement on what to call it since ordinary and sophisticated people say it is happiness (or living well and doing well). However, interestingly, different from other aims, happiness is the final goal or an end unto itself.

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Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

Many things are beyond our control. We discover that the world refuses to bow to our commands by walking our path.

Wisdom traditions have many names (and practices) for accepting and aligning ourselves with how the world works. The Stoics advise us to live in accordance with nature. The Taoists say to live in the flow of life, and spiritual traditions have phrases and practices like acceptance, surrender, and letting go.

In Beyond Good and Evil, the German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote about the notion of saying ‘yes’ to life:

I want to learn more and more to see as beautiful what is necessary in things; then I shall be one of those who make things beautiful. Amor fati: let that be my love henceforth! I do not want to wage war against what is ugly. I do not want to accuse; I do not even want to accuse those who accuse. Looking away shall be my only negation. And all in all… I wish to be only a Yes-sayer.

The longtime psychotherapist and author David Richo (a previous podcast guest) explains in his book, Five Things We Cannot Change, that there are unavoidable givens (or immutable facts) that come to visit all of us repeatedly:

• Everything changes and ends.

• Things do not always go according to plan.

• Life is not always fair.

• Pain is part of life.

• People are not always loving and loyal all the time.

When we learn to accept and embrace these fundamental truths, writes Dr. Richo, we realize that they are precisely what we need to gain courage, compassion, and wisdom—in short, to find real happiness. Likewise, psychologist Carl Jung believed that “givens can be embraced with an unconditional yes to that which is, without subjective protests, an acceptance of the conditions of existence… an acceptance of my own nature as I happen to be.”

According to Dr. Richo,

Such a yes is a willingness to land on concrete reality without a pillow to buffer us. Such a yes makes us flexible, attuning us to a shifting world and opening us to whatever life brings. Such a yes is not a stoic surrender to the status quo but a courageous one—an alignment to reality.

To surrender to how the world works is not losing or giving up; it’s deciding to grow up. It involves submitting to the notion that there are eternal truths and that the art of living requires us to live in accordance with those truths—not despite them.

The strange thing about wisdom (and life in general) is how paradoxical it can be. An unconditional yes is a yes to the paradoxes of life.

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Happiness & the Meaning of Life

Happiness & the Meaning of Life is a philosophical study of the art (and science) of living well. The course explores the writing and philosophy of Aristotle, Seneca, the Buddha, Epicurus, William James, and many others. Expect to learn perennial lessons (and practices) to help you flourish in the modern day.

When you look up the word happiness, it’s usually defined as “the state of being happy” or “a state of well-being and contentment.”

But what does it actually mean to “be” happy in modern life? Strangely, it’s a more challenging question than one might think.

The Art of Happiness

In No Mud, No Lotus (a book we read for Reading & the Good Life), the late Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh explained,

We all want to be happy, and many books and teachers in the world try to help people be happier. Yet, we all continue to suffer. Therefore, we may think that we’re ‘doing it wrong.’ Somehow, we are ‘failing at happiness.’ That isn’t true. Being able to enjoy happiness doesn’t require that we have zero suffering.

Hanh continues,

In fact, the art of happiness is also the art of suffering well. When we learn to acknowledge, embrace, and understand our suffering, we suffer much less. Not only that, but we’re also able to go further and transform our suffering into understanding, compassion, and joy for ourselves and others.

The art of happiness connects with the practice of “being” where we are. Despite the profound differences between Stoic and Epicurean doctrines, the underlying principles (along with many other wisdom traditions) focus on living in the present moment. The French philosopher and historian Pierre Hadot remarked in Don’t Forget to Live that Epicureanism and Stoicism privilege the present over the past—especially the future.

But what if “being” where we are is only one side of the equation? Several wisdom traditions also stress the idea of “becoming” who we are. The Stoic philosopher Epictetus stressed to his students,

How long are you going to wait before you start demanding the best for yourself?

Now granted, demanding the best for ourselves likely involves learning to ‘be’ where we are. But the good life is also an ethical life; philosophical and spiritual traditions universally urge us to think about virtue as action.

The Paradox of Happiness

One might ask, “What is more important, being or becoming?” A critical idea that runs through this course is both/and thinking or the way of paradox. In a recent conversation with Mark Matousek (the author of Lessons from an American Stoic), discussed an exercise called Making Space for Paradox,

Reflect on the doubleness of experience and how apparent opposites can be equally true at the same time. Remember that there are two sides to what happens, at least, and that wisdom results in the ability to hold opposing truths in your mind at the same time without either canceling the other out.

Matousek explains that an overarching whole encompasses both, as the circle makes space for yin and yang. We are wise to explore the contradictions and paradoxes of our lives and how they fit together to make a whole.

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Dear Readers,

I hope this finds everyone wise and well! Thank you to everyone who has followed along with our Perennial Habits course. Over the past few months, we’ve explored the art and science of change (How to Change When Change is Hard, How to “Think” About Change, The Paradox of Small Changes, and Becoming Every Day). Along with a handful of lifelong practices (Discerning the Way, A Simple But Not Easy Stoic Exercise, How to See the World Like a Sage, How to Take Nothing for Granted, The Middle Way, The Art of Stillness, and Thinking About Life and Death) and from philosophical and spiritual traditions.

Today, we’re discussing a practice often called negative visualization (or Premeditatio Malorum in Latin).

—

J.W. Bertolotti

P.S. You’ll find links to related meditations and podcasts at the end.

What Could Go Wrong?

The ancient practice of Premeditatio Malorum involves visualizing negative outcomes. It is an exercise of mental preparation and a way to build fortitude in an uncertain world.

It’s important to point out that our minds tend to do the negative part automatically (typically called the negativity bias). Imagine that you are tasked with giving an impromptu talk to your colleagues. Your mind might naturally think about worst-case scenarios: “What if I blow it?”; “What will my colleagues think of me?”; and so on.

The practice of negative visualization is not simply ruminating on all the ways a particular event could go sideways. Premeditatio Malorum is an intentional rehearsal of what could go wrong in an attempt to prepare ourselves accordingly.

Here’s how Seneca put it in a letter,

If an evil has been pondered beforehand, the blow is gentle when it comes. To the fool, however, and to him who trusts in fortune, each event as it arrives ‘comes in a new and sudden form,’ and a large part of evil, to the inexperienced, consists in its novelty. This is proved by the fact that men endure with greater courage when they have once become accustomed to what they initially regarded as hardships.

Seneca believed that the wise approach is to accustom ourselves to trouble by reflecting on the potential evils that might arise.

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Dear Readers,

I hope this finds everyone wise and well! As a quick reminder: I’ve created a few ways to become a member: (1) Become a member at $5 a month or $39 for the year; (2) If you need a little assistance, feel free to use this 50% discount link; and (3) If you are unable to afford it, please accept a complimentary membership.

—

J.W. Bertolotti

P.S. You’ll find links to related meditations and podcasts at the end.

Thinking About Life (and Death)

Philosophers and theologians alike point to a universal fear and forgetfulness around death. In How We Live is How We Die, the American nun and Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön observes:

Some people banish the thought of death from their minds and act as if they will live forever. Some tell themselves that life is the only thing that matters since death—in their view—equals nothingness. Some become obsessed with their health and safety and base their lives on staving off the unavoidable for as many years as possible. It is less common for people to open themselves fully to the inevitability of their death—and any fear that may provoke it—and to live their lives accordingly.

The ancient practice of memento mori (Latin for remember that you will die) is designed to help us remember our mortality. The maxim, “Think as a Mortal,” is one of the 147 ancient sayings inscribed upon a stone monument at Delphi. These reflections and emphasis on mortality could seem grim. But similar to other maxims, like “Know thyself” or “This too shall pass,” these pithy words of wisdom help us accept life's eternal truths.

In his classic work Meditations on Death, the Catholic theologian Thomas à Kempis noted,

Your time here is short, very short; take another look at the way in which you spend it. Here man is today; tomorrow, he is lost to view; and once a man is out of sight, it’s not long before he passes out of mind. How dull they are, how obdurate, these hearts of ours, always occupied with the present instead of looking ahead to what lies before us! Every action of yours, every thought, should be those of a man who expects to die before the day is out. …

If you aren’t fit to face death today, it’s very unlikely you will be by tomorrow; besides, tomorrow is an uncertain quantity; you have no guarantee that there will be any tomorrow—for you. […]

Paradoxically, thinking about life (and death) helps us live—today.

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I hope this finds everyone wise and well!

A quick note: As I mentioned in the last couple of meditations, I’m making a handful of our series (Sundays with Seneca, The Way of Contemplation, etc.) available on In Search of Wisdom and to all subscribers. The Tuesday and Thursday meditations (and courses) are still exclusively available to members.

If you’re interested in becoming a Perennial Meditations member, here are three options: (1) Become a member at $5 a month or $39 for the year; (2) If you need a little assistance, feel free to use this 50% discount link; and (3) If you are unable to afford a membership, please use this complimentary membership link.

—

Thank you for reading Perennial Meditations, listening to In Search of Wisdom, and supporting this project!

J.W. Bertolotti

P.S. You’ll find links to related meditations and podcasts at the end.

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Welcome to Vol. 10 of our Perennial Habits course. Here’s a quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide, Discerning the Way, A Simple, But Not Easy Stoic Exercise, How to See — Like a Sage, The Wisdom of Gratitude, and The Middle Way.

The Art of Stillness

“Going nowhere, as Leonard Cohen would later emphasize for me, isn’t about turning your back on the world; it’s about stepping away now and then so that you can see the world more clearly and love it more deeply,” writes Pico Iyer in his short book The Art of Stillness. The book is based on Iyer’s popular Ted Talk — Where is Home?

According to Iyer,

It is only by stopping movement that you can see where to go. And it’s only by stepping out of your life and the world that you can see what you most deeply care about and find a home.

Iyer’s words connect with the perennial habit of discerning the way. Stillness is a way of discerning what matters and what is actually up to us.

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Welcome to Vol. 9 of our Perennial Habits course. Here’s a quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide, Discerning the Way, A Simple, But Not Easy Stoic Exercise, How to See — Like a Sage, and The Wisdom of Gratitude.

***As a reminder, at the end of each lesson, you’ll find links to related podcasts and meditations.

The Middle Way — Buddhist Teaching

As discussed in The Teachings of the Buddha, the word Buddha means “one who is awake.” The Buddha’s real name is Siddhartha Gautama. He was born a prince in an ancient kingdom of northern India. Although his father protected him as a youth in beautiful palaces, as he grew older, the Buddha encountered what we must all face: “the inevitable sorrows of life.”

The modern-day philosopher Peter Kreeft describes the story of the Buddha this way in his series Socrates’ Children,

The story of Gautama’s own enlightenment is dramatic. His father was a king in India some twenty-six centuries ago. A prophecy at Gautama’s birth said that this child would be either the greatest world-conquering king or the greatest world-renouncing ascetic and mystic. In order to make the first half of the prophecy come true, Gautama’s father tried to make kingship totally attractive to his son by surrounding him with palace luxury, allowing nothing bad to enter and not allowing Gautama to leave. But the curious youth escaped four times and saw “the Four Distressing Sights”: a sick man, an old man, a dead man, and a begging man.

No one could tell him why anyone got sick, old, or died. Gautama eventually left the palace, joined the ascetics (sannyasis), and practiced the severest self-denial for years, but he came no closer to solving the great riddle.

Finally, he took a decent meal for the first time in years. This was his first discovery: the middle way between self-indulgence and self-mortification, neither of which had produced enlightenment. He then sat down under the Bodhi tree and resolved not to rise until he had read the riddle of pain.

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Welcome to Vol. 8 of our Perennial Habits course. Here’s a quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide, Discerning the Way, A Simple, But Not Easy Stoic Exercise, and How to See — Like a Sage.

How to Take Nothing for Granted

The practice of gratitude appears across wisdom traditions. Although philosophical and spiritual traditions often speak of gratitude in slightly different ways than we do in modern culture.

You think this is just another day in your life. It’s not just another day; it’s the one day. It’s the one day that is given to you today. It’s a gift. It’s the only gift you have right now — and the only appropriate response is gratefulness.

— Brother David Steindl-Rast.

My interview with Kristi Nelson (author of Wakeup Grateful) uncovered the difference between gratitude and being grateful. Nelson explained gratefulness is gratitude for life. It reminds us that we are continually receiving in simply being alive. While gratitude — as we know it — needs something good to happen, gratefulness only requires us to be awake. Nelson writes that we do not need to do anything to feel grateful or wait for anything more.

How might your life change if you took nothing for granted?

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Welcome to Vol. 7 of our Perennial Habits course. Here’s a quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide, Discerning the Way, and A Simple, But Not Easy Stoic Exercise.

How to See the World — Like a Sage

The Platonists, Epicureans, and Stoics all discovered an “exercise of imagination through the infinite vastnesses of the universe.” According to the classicist Pierre Hadot, there is a conception of cosmic flight or view from above in each philosophical school as the best way to look at things.

The text from Philo of Alexandria describes philosophers in this way,

Their goal is a life of peace and serenity, they contemplate nature and everything found within her: they attentively explore the earth, the sea, the air the sky, and every nature found therein.

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius wrote to himself, “Watch and see the courses of the stars as if you were running alongside them, and continually dwell in your mind upon the changes of the elements into one another; for these imaginations wash away the foulness on the Earth. When reasoning about humanity, look upon earthly things below as if from a vantage point above them.”

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Welcome to Vol. 6 of our Perennial Habits course. Thank you to everyone who voted in our poll; based on the results, our first meetup will be on Monday (3 Jun) at 3:00 pm EST (Register here). I hope to see you there!

A quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide and Discerning the Way.

A Simple, But Not Easy Stoic Exercise

The Stoic philosopher Epictetus drew a line down the middle of life: on one side is what is under our complete control, and on the other is what is not under our complete control. He called this the chief task in life—to identify and separate matters so that we can clearly tell ourselves which are externals not under our control and which have to do with the choices we actually control.

As we’ll discover throughout this course, like the cardinal virtues, many of our habits are interconnected and work in concert. For example, in our last meditation, Discerning the Way, we discussed contemplating and creating clarity around what truly matters to us.

Once we determine what matters, we must discern whether or not it is within our control. The opening passage of Epictetus’s Enchiridion describes what is often referred to as the dichotomy of control this way,

Some things are within our power, while others are not. Within our power are opinion, motivation, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever is of our own doing; not within our power are our body, our property, reputation, office, and, in a word, whatever is not of our own doing.

It sounds simple enough — in theory. But in practice, turning our attention and effort to what is actually up to us can be highly challenging.

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Welcome to Vol. 5 of our Perennial Habits course. Thank you to everyone who voted in our poll; based on the results, our first meetup will be on Monday (3 Jun) at 3:00 pm EST (Register here).

A quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Followed by Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide on creating a life. Today, we explore our first perennial habit — Discerning the Way.

Discerning the Way

I typically refer to the first perennial habit as “discerning the way,” but I encourage you to call it whatever makes sense to you. The idea connects with “motivation” in The Fogg Behavior Change Model we discussed in The Paradox of Small Changes. As well as stages two (contemplation) and three (preparation) on the stages of change model we explored in How to “Think” About Change.

Discerning the way involves cultivating the habit of self-inquiry. It requires us to contemplate and clarify principles and values that truly matter to us.

In What Do You Want Out of Life, philosopher Valerie Tiberius (a previous podcast guest) writes, “Uncertainty about what matters to you makes it hard to move forward. If you don’t really know what you want, it’s hard to know how to get it.” Likewise, we focused on clarity as a pathway to change in How to Change When Change is Hard.

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Welcome to Vol. 4 of our Perennial Habits course. Thank you to everyone who voted in our poll for the upcoming meetup. Based on the results, our first meetup will be on Monday (3 Jun) at 3:00 pm EST (Register here).

A quick review: our first meditation discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Then, we explored The Paradox of Small Changes, which focused on thinking big and small. Today, we turn to one of my favorite ideas — Becoming Every Day or the art of creating a life.

Contemplation Question(s): Consider reflecting on one (or all) of the questions.

• What are you hoping to learn in this course?

• As you reflect on your life, who or what has had the greatest impact on your journey thus far?

• What do you think is the driving aim of your life?

Becoming Every Day: A User’s Guide

Every day (and each moment) is an opportunity—a chance to create.

The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus famously said, “No one ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river, and they are not the same person.” We are constantly changing, and so is everything else. Yes, some changes are more noticeable than others, but nevertheless, change is occurring.

In my conversation with Alva Noë (author of The Entanglement: How Art and Philosophy Make Us What We Are), we discussed the notion of creating a life and the connection between art and philosophy.

Here’s a short clip from the conversation:

We are questions, not answers; in this, we are like artworks.

“Art and philosophy require of us that we work ourselves over and make ourselves anew,” explains Noë, “individually and ensemble.” To understand and know ourselves, we need to undertake an aesthetic investigation of that work-in-progress that is the self we are.

Creativity and Change

The art of living is ultimately an artistic process.

The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche called creativity required to become who we are or who we may want to be. In the short book Being and Becoming, author Jennifer Anna Gosetti-Ferencei explains,

In order to embrace our lives as our very own, to shake free from the inherited expectations, the pressures of the crowd, or mere habit, we need to exercise invention.

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Welcome to Vol. 3 of our Perennial Habits course. Thank you to everyone who voted in our poll for the upcoming meetup. If you have not already done so, please vote for the date/time that works best for you.

In our first meditation, we discussed How to Change When Change is Hard and the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. Next, we talked about How to “Think” About Change, which discussed the stages of change and the notion of cognitive flexibility. Today, we explore the ancient idea often called the paradox of small changes.

Contemplation Question(s): Consider reflecting on one (or all) of the questions.

• What are you hoping to learn in this course?

• As you reflect on your life, who or what has had the greatest impact on your journey thus far?

• What do you think is the driving aim of your life?

The Paradox of Small Changes

The paradox of small changes adding up is probably not a new idea to you. Zeno (the Founder of Stoicism) said more than two millennia ago, “Well-being is realized by small steps, but is truly no small thing.” Similarly, the Buddha observed that “drop by drop, the water pot is filled.” The wise one, gathering it little by little, is filled with good.

More recently, authors like James Clear (Atomic Habits) and B.J. Fogg (Tiny Habits) helped to popularize these ancient ideas. One of the reasons embracing these types of ideas is problematic is that it requires us to think both big and small.

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Adopting new habits is challenging. However, research shows that change is more successful in groups. For this reason, there will be opportunities to connect virtually throughout the course. If you’re interested in attending the next meetup, please vote for the date/time that works best for you. (I’m also creating a group chat for the course with occasional reminders and questions.)

In Part I, we discussed How to Change When Change is Hard through the lens of a metaphor known as the rider and the elephant. We talked about the need for clarity, motivation, and shaping the path for change. We also pondered a few reflection questions (which I’ve listed below in case you missed them).

Contemplation Question(s): Consider reflecting on one (or all) of the questions.

• What are you hoping to learn in this course?

• As you reflect on your life, who or what has had the greatest impact on your journey thus far?

• What do you think is the driving aim of your life?

How to “Think” About Change

There is no shortage of models to help us think and understand change. In this course, we’ll utilize the transtheoretical model of behavior change (TTM) developed by psychologist James Prochaska. It breaks down change into five stages, which research shows can be helpful.

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Do you ever feel pulled in multiple directions?

Maybe you want to start reading, meditating, or exercising more than you do — but competing demands get in the way. If so, you are not alone. Change is hard.

The art (and science) of change has fascinated me for much of my life. I’ve taken countless courses, coaching programs, and certifications on the topic. Yet, I still find change difficult and a bit of a mystery at times. However, in my experience, a greater understanding of human nature, the art (and science) of change, and ancient practices is a powerful combination.

For this reason, I developed the Perennial Habits course. Over the next two months, we will explore the science of change and the art of timeless practices (e.g., meditation, gratitude, journaling, etc.).

Contemplation Question(s): Before we begin, I encourage you to reflect on one (or all) of the questions below.

• What are you hoping to learn in this course?

• As you reflect on your life, who or what has had the greatest impact on your journey thus far?

• What do you think is the driving aim of your life?

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How to Change, When Change is Hard

Where do we begin to discuss change? There are countless books and resources on the topic. One of my favorites, which has stuck with me over the years, is Switch by Chip and Dan Heath. The authors stress that there are many surprises about change. One is that “knowledge does not change behavior.”

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